Lately I’ve been thinking and reflecting a lot on life. How short it is, and how quickly days pass by without even paying attention to them. I mean, wasn’t I in high school like yesterday? And when did college happen? It’s kind of a blur, and part of me likes that, and part of me’s sad that it’s already behind me.
I’ve been joking with friends that this summer I’m either going on a cruise, backpacking through Europe, going to midwife school in the Philippines, or moving in with my in-laws while Mike job hunts. Maybe it’s a quarter-life crisis, who knows. I just have so much that I want to accomplish, and the time seems to be flying by. It’s as if I’m so torn about the future that the steps today can’t become clear. This is where I truly shine as a Millennial – knowing I want to change the world, but not sure how.
I want to live beyond myself, and I don’t want to lose my identity and purpose in striving for my own personal dreams and the dreams I share with Mike. Because let’s be honest, it’s easy. It’s easy to forget that there’s something we can live for that’s greater than ourselves. This “stuff” can so easily consume me – my time, my energy, and sadly, the time I share with others because even when I’m with them I’m distracted [I took notes in church last Sunday on business ideas that kept coming to mind. Not that that’s wrong, it’s just that I can’t get away from my head. And I think I need to be able to do that.].
And there’s pros and cons to that. For one, I’m glad I get to do something I love. On the flip side, I don’t want the thing I love to compromise the people and relationships I love. This or anything I do for that matter isn’t worth that to me [wow, I just typed that out loud] and it won’t ever be. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t want to be a photographer who forgets birthdays, or thank you cards, or who only takes pictures and never lives beyond my lifetime [probably my greatest fear]. I don’t want my goals to be that small no matter how short or how long my life is.
To sum up how I feel, here’s a quote from one of my new favorite author’s, Pete Wilson – “No, my greatest fear for my life and for yours is that we’ll just get busy and distracted and settle for a mediocre, unexamined life. It’s that we’ll just settle into life as usual and never become the person s God intended for us to be.”
Regardless, no matter the time or season, I fully know how to make a fool of myself. Enjoy.